Chick Magnets: Dog Poop in a Bag?
When you’re the single guy and people want you to something, they will often resort to the “Chick Magnet” argument. “Hold this small child, women will fall all over you,” “Hold my stuff while I go into the lingerie section, look at all the women you’ll meet,” “Walk the dog, women love that.”
Probably there’s some merit to these arguments. But, first off:
- When my nephew was about three, my sister insisted on leaving him in my care, after assuring me that was all I needed to meet every beautiful woman in town. I saw a group of three attractive women go into a store. Thinking my nephew was my ally, I said: “let’s go in here, there’s women inside.” Just as we entered, he balked, announcing in a loud voice: “I’m not going in here, there’s women in here.”
- Recent dog walks have alerted me to a couple problems. The dog I’ve been asked to walk hates other dogs, so I have to avoid any other dog walkers. And, shortly into the walk, I usually find myself HOLDING A BAG OF DOG POOP. Maybe chicks dig that, but I just don’t feel like testing that hypothesis.
How to say no
Recently a good friend, who happens to be a hot young woman, was having trouble deflecting interest. Too many people try to be nice, to explain, to soften the blow, and end up tangled up with someone who is just too optimistic to give up.
There is a simple method:
Say no.
Actually, what you say is:
"No thank you."
or,
"Thanks, but I'm not interested."
Never give an excuse or an explanation, otherwise you invite the person to debate or negotiate.
You can add polite notes, such as:
"No thank you, but I'm very flattered." or "Thank you so much for thinking of me, I'm sure you will find someone else."
What you cannot add are any qualifiers that sound like excuses: "I'm very busy," "It's not a good time" or even "I have a boyfriend." Because, well, are you always busy? Is there a better time? Are you ever going to break up with him?
Think of this method as the Iron Wall of Politness.
Practice it in front of a mirror. Have a little confidence that you don't need to answer beyond this. If pressed, repeat, but drop on of the polite grace notes with each repitition.
I've been on both sides, most people who don't marry their high-school sweethearts will be as well. This really is best for everyone.
Should I Google Samantha?
Recently I was at one of my favorite coffee houses, cleverly parked next to the outlet. Over the course of the afternoon, three very lovely women took turns sitting next to me. Each one was great for conversation, but only Samantha was really a possibility for getting digits.
The first woman was an artist, off studying in some school. The second, a grad student, visiting here with her boyfriend. We talked quite a bit.
Up comes Samantha, needing me to plug in her laptop. "I could do it," she says, "but we would become very intimate." I performed her task, commenting that we should at least be introduced first. I was still talking to Alison, though. So I didn't really focus on this new girl until some time later, after Alison finally left to meet her boyfriend.
Turns out, after a few conversations mixed in with us both working on our laptops, that I kind of like Samantha. Still, I didn't realize until she'd gone that she was quite striking, and intelligent. On her departure I referred back to her opening line, noting we were now introduced, should the intimacy issue arise again. She laughed. But I didn't ask for her number.
Now, I do have a couple facts, enough to probably track her down using Google. But is that allowed?
